Thursday, January 10, 2008
I'll start with warlocks this time, so you don't flame me immediately.
Do you know who invented warlocks? Someone who couldn't win a single duel with any other class.
My lock is so imba he doesn't even need mana - my pet uses Dark Pact on me.
Now this one's old but who cares.
Admiral Proudmoore landed on Kalimdor with a large force. He was then startled by a voice that called out to him from some nearby bushes.
"Hey Human! One warlock. Two humans!"
Realising this voice belonged to one of the foul orcs, and confident in the superiority of his own race, the Admiral took the orc's challenge. Calling out for two of his best soldiers, he pointed to the bushes.
"You two. Go in there and slay that warlock!"
Obediently the two soldiers rushed into the bushes and out of sight. Then the sound of a loud but all too brief battle erupted. Followed by the death cries of two humans... Then silence...
"Hey human!" the voice grunted again. "1 warlock. 10 humans!"
Growling, the Admiral again took the orcs challenge, and gathered 10 very eager volunteers, all impatient to avenge their two fallen comrades.
"Go in there and destroy that beast!"
Again the men charged into the bushes out of sight. The sounds of battle again erupted, and lasted a little longer this time. But just the same as before it ended with the deathcries of the human soldiers.
Then again there was silence.
"Hey human! 1 warlock! 50 HUMANS!!!"
Furious, the Admiral decided to take no more chances and called upon his 15th battallion, a hundred of his finest troops, and again pointed into the bushes. "CHAAAARRRRRRGGGEEE!!!" he roared at the top of his lungs.
Charging in the army vanished into the dense bushes. Knights on horseback, sorceresses and priests, footmen, even dwarven riflemen and mortar teams made up this mighty force.
The sounds of a massive battle came from within the bushes, the earth shook, trees fell and large parts of the landscape exploded. There were gunshots, clashing of blades, fleshy thuds, and a veritable chorus of death cries. But soon, once again, there was silence.
Then without warning, one of his men came limping out of the bushes, with a frantic look on his face. He was bleeding profusely, an arm had been chopped off, and he looked ready to die. But before passing out, he cried out to the Admiral.
"Sir, sir! Its a trick!! There's 2 of them!!"
Why didn't the undead cross the road with the chicken?
...he didn't have the guts.
What do you call an elf on drugs?
A High Elf.
The druid says to the warrior, "what classes do we need". The warrior says, "about 10 mages, 5 priests, 4 druids, 8 warriors, 3 warlocks and 6 rogues." The druid replies, "Ok I'll go get a shaman".
A dwarf goes into a bar in Stormwind and orders four beers. He starts drinking them, one sip each at a time, and after about a half hour he's finished all four, pays, and leaves.
The next day he returns, doing the same thing. The bartender looks at him funny, but pours the four drinks and serves them. He drinks them the same way, until he finishes all four, pays, and leaves again.
The third day, when the dwarf returns, the barkeep can't take it anymore. "If you drink the beers one at a time, they'll all be cold and won't get flat at the end. Why do you want all four at the same time?"
The dwarf explains: I have a brother in Ironforge, one in Booty Bay, and one who lives on Theramore Isle. We can't get together as much as we want, so at the same time each day we all go to a bar and order a round. We drink 'em all and pretend we're all at a bar together".
The barkeeper nods and serves four beers. Nobody else disturbs the dwarf while he finishes off the four beers.
The next day the dwarf comes into the bar, but only orders three beers. Silence falls. Nobody at the bar can look the poor dwarf in the eye. Finally, the barkeeper walks over to try to console him. "I'm so sorry for your loss. Do you want to talk about it? Tell us what happened to your fourth brother".
The dwarf looks confused for a moment, then bursts out laughing.
"It's not what you think!!! I just quit drinking today!"
You got any jokes of your own? Post a comment or mail me and I'll be sure to post it next time!
> WoW humor: Part 1